Wu Fishing Trip
by ZwIcK
Summary: A few of the guys go fishing, and it's far from a 'peaceful' trip.


Over in the lands of Wu, the 'poss' are on a 'fishing trip', if you can really call it that-

"Dammit! My line's snagged _again!_" an irrate Gan Ning barks at whoever'll listen. He's yanking back (hard) on his line, trying to unstick it from whatever it's caught on. Lu Xun, who happens to be new to the concept of a fishing expedition Wu-style (lucky for him, right?) happens to glance over, and upon seeing Gan Ning's plight...

"What the hell're you doing?" he asks, staring at the spectacle going on right next to him.

Gan Ning continues to yank at his line, which is starting to look more and more like he's beating at some invisible something as opposed to unsticking a line. "Hold on, I got this," he growls, concentrating. He's too immersed in his own doings to notice Lu Xun edging away from him. At this point he's starting to look like a health hazard...

"Why don't you just cut it like a 'normal' person already?" Ling Tong sighs, scowling over at the crazed pirate. Naturally, this suggestion doesn't go over too well, and-

"Not yet you dope-fiend!" Gan Ning snaps, and plows on with what he was previously doing, only now with more intensity after having been chastised by that man of all people.

Ling Tong rolls his eyes and goes back to watching his own line. "Oh, of course. Heaven forbid-" he gripes in an undertone. He suddenly catches sight of the look on Lu Xun's face and adds to that, "With any luck, he'll just fall in and drown." He smirks as Gan Ning shoots him a look of pure evil, all the while snarling between yanks, "Almost-got it-"

Suddenly Sun Ce calls brightly. "Hey! I think I got something-!"

It's in that exact instant that Gan Ning's line comes unstuck, and snaps Ce dead in the face. "ACK!" he yelps, falling backward into the boat.

Gan Ning runs over, looking shocked. "A-Are you ok?" he asks, staring down at that man.

Sun Ce's laying on his back, holding his eye. "Ngh...I think so?"

Ling Tong, ever the helpful one, remains seated on the side of the ship, trying not to laugh. "Heheh, I guess you _did_ get something-"

"-_owned_," Lu Xun chimes in in an undertone, causing them both to start laughing like a pair of hyenas. This of course leads to one very irrate-

"OH! So neither one of you cared that I could've got a hook through the eye or something, huh? Some 'loyal officers' you idiots are!" Sun Ce belts out, just now getting up.

"Oh please," Ling Tong waves that off, "If you'd of had a hook in your eye you'd of been freaking out. Seriously, I'm not _that _oblivious."

"But you're still oblivious," Lu Xun points out.

"To most things." Ling Tong agrees with a shrug.

Gan Ning sighs with relief. "So then I only got you with the bobber, huh?"

"I guess," Sun Ce returns to his spot on the side of the boat, still glowering at the other two for their lack of concern and ultimate amusement at his expense. Naturally, to add insult to injury, whatever he had had on his line before took his bait and bailed. Great.

Gan Ning suddenly starts to snigger loudly.

"What?" Ce snaps, shooting the pirate a look.

"Just wait'll I tell everybody..."

"HEY!" Sun Ce roars.

"...who?" Ning's thinking Sun Ce was reffering to someone else he should tell.

The random reverie that just settled in is suddenly broken by Ling Tong's shout. "Oh! Hey Ning, catch!"

Gan Ning barely has time to react before-

WHUMP!

"OH-_MOTHER_!" He cries as a big-ass monster fish bulls him over.

As Ning wrestles the beast that's thrashing around on top of him, Ling Tong hollers over all the noise, "Hey, do me a favor and get my hook out, will ya? Thanks!"

Sun Ce starts to laugh as Lu Xun stares at Ling Tong's prize catch, clearly stunned. "I didn't know there were fish that big out here...?" he breathes.

"Haha, guess that's payback for trying to kill me with your bobber, eh-AH!" Sun Ce shrieks as the fish's tail swats him in the back, pitching his ass into the river. Spoke too soon?

"Somebody help me!" Gan Ning screams. Lu Xun's first on the scene to help out, whereas Ling Tong (as you knew he would) hangs back to watch. Or at least, untill something comes to mind...

"Oh my God!" He yelps, diving into the fray to help too. The strategist gives him a look.

"Oh, what, _now_ you care?" he asks darkly. He's not been so lucky with being the only one trying to tackle this fish, especially since it's roughly as big as he is.

"Damn right I do!" Ling Tong snaps back. "So help me if this thing gets away-"

Eventually they manage to get the beast to calm down...

"There, that outta do it!" says Ling Tong brightly, having just cracked it one with a randomly aquired mallet. Of course...

"You ass, that was me!" growls a certain Gan Ning, holding the side of his head while still being pinned down by the 'prize catch'.

"Oh..." the former's face falls.

Once that's taken care of...

"Hey guys! A little help here? There's something huge on the end of my line!" Lu Xun hollers over, struggling with his pole.

"What?" the other two run over to help.

"Bet'cha it ain't as big as mine," Ling Tong teases.

"I dunno, man, it sure is taking a lotta line!" states Gan Ning. He's suddenly armed with a giant net from practically nowhere. Ling Tong stares.

"Whoa hell! WTF're you expecting to put in that? The Loch Ness Monster?"

Gan Ning glances doubtfully at the net. "...hmm, it is a little excessive, isn't it?"

"Ya think?"

"Guys I'm slipping-!" cries Lu Xun. Ling Tong, who's closest, pounces and grabs him just in time to save him from being yanked in; Gan Ning joins in and together the three of them manage to reel in-

"What the-?"

Back on shore...

"Oh, hey, how'd it go?" calls Zhou Yu, just now joining them as they disembark from their boat with all their gear.

"Psh, ask those two how it went." growls Gan Ning mock-irritably, indicating Lu Xun and Ling Tong behind him.

"Why, didn't you catch anything?"

"Not nuthin' like they did," leers the pirate.

"Okaaaay...?" just then Zhou Yu catches sight of a sopping-wet Sun Ce, and forces down a laugh. "I had a feeling you'd fall in..."

"Can it, you." he says curtly as he stalks past, leaving Zhou Yu looking very taken aback.

"What's his problem?"

"Forget that!" barks Ling Tong, cropping up behind him. "You gotta check this out!"

He leads him over to where they put the god-awful fish he caught-

"Holy-!" Zhou Yu can only stare wide-eyed at the sight.

"Ha! I know!" somebody's certainly proud. "I even stamped my name on it! Check it!"

Tong points out a spot on the beast's broad head, where sure enough, yep, there's his name.

"Right..." Zhou Yu's still appalled at what he's seeing. "So, uh, what'd you catch?" he adds to Lu Xun. If it's anything like this monster...

The young strategist grins broadly. "A 'Little Conquerer'," he says, and they all start to laugh.

XXXXX

**~This I came up with after a fishing trip with my brother that had similar goings on. It's not written that great but it gets the point across pretty well.~**


End file.
